Nearly two years ago, another banger joined the fleet at Blog Roll Towers. What’s more surprising is, nearly two years on, it’s still parked outside Blog Roll Towers (and no, it’s not because it won’t start, it’s not a Ford you know). This is fairly unusual in that most cars I buy tend to last the journey home and not much more than that, which can be a little disconcerting as I have bought cars from the road I live on before. Anyway, this lump of pig iron had to undertake a fairly lengthy drive back home because while I’m in Cornwall, it was located in Chatteris.

What is it?

Well, it’s a Skoda Fabia 1.4 MPi Classic Combi which is a mouthful so we call it Listerine. Well, you have seen the colour in the photos. Classic means it’s the bottom of the range, should have tried harder at school specification which has such niceties as independent locking, manual windows, a plethora of switch blanks and a steering wheel. It also has the old Skoda overhead valve engine that dates back to when God was a lad. Combi is Skoda talk for estate car, which translates into a thoroughly useful car.

Don’t tell me somebody bought that new!

What’s baffling about this particular car is that someone specially ordered it. They ordered an estate with the least powerful, most archaic engine available in a colour that no one else ever specified with an equipment list that the Tory austerity cuts look generous. Yet it was ordered with a CD player player player player (a tape deck was standard equipment) and air conditioning! I really don’t get that, as the resale value of this model, trim, engine and colour spec would have been pretty poor compared with other models in the Fabia range. But judging by the service history on this car, resale values were of no interest to this owner because they kept it for about 15 years, was garaged and had it serviced and maintained at a Skoda dealer for all those years.

So, what’s it like to drive?

Well, fairly uneventful to be honest. The steering is light, the handling is safe but not particularly involving, the brakes are pretty good but the gear change is on the obstructive side. Which is just a plain nuisance sometimes as it’s under powered and gets easily confused by hills. As mentioned earlier, it’s fitted with the old Skoda pushrod overhead valve engine. Whereas it was a 1.3 litre engine in the Favorit and Felicia, for the Fabia it was modified and bored out to 1.4 litres, producing a nausea inducing 67bhp. I have no idea what the top speed is, and as far as acceleration goes, I started a 0-62mph standing start back in December 2020 and I haven’t got there yet. However, once you get up to speed, it’ll happily sit there all day (providing there’s no hills) with very little fuss though the engine does get rather rough the further you get up the rev range, but the rest of the time it’s not too bad. But then again, being a rip-snorting bahnstormer was never at the top of Skoda’s priorities when designing and developing the Fabia.

What’s it like to live with?

What was on the top of Skoda’s priorities was providing practical and functional motoring, and when you look at the Fabia in its original context, it’s hard to beat. Especially in estate form, because it provides a decent amount of interior space in what is essentially still a supermini, but with the added bonus of that extra boot space. Certainly one of the most useful cars I’ve owned. It will swallow up our shopping with consummate ease, it will take our vast amounts of luggage that my wife deems necessary for a holiday and we can fit our tent and camping gear in the back. Even better than that is the rear seats are not only 60/40 split folding affairs, they can be completely removed. The front passenger seat folds flat so it becomes a van if required. For a small car, it’s also reasonably comfortable and whilst you couldn’t call the interior pretty or even remotely stylish, it’s functional and fairly robust. This little Skoda can take on anything that people claim they buy an (usually two wheel drive) SUV for. Bollocks, you don’t need an SUV, a Fabia is all the car you’ll ever need. Oh, no, wait, that was another car wasn’t it…

Is it green?

Yes. Fantasy Green, in fact. Which is the same green Jeremy Clarkson used to paint the “Police” Fiat Coupe and the Alfa 75 in the Top Gear challenges.

Has it been reliable?

As it happens, yes it has. We’ve done 14k miles in it so far (a bit far off the 40k target we’ve set ourselves).
Stuff that’s needed attention (all wear and tear and consumable stuff)
– Brake hoses, rear cylinders and shoes
– Front discs and pads
– Anti roll bar drop link
– Tyres
Stuff that’s gone wrong:
– Temperature sensor (complete with thermostat housing): they all do that, Sir. Knew about this when I bought it so it was done pretty quickly.
– Coil pack

In recent weeks, the Fabia has had its second MoT in my ownership. Bearing in mind cars I have usually don’t normally make a second MoT in my ownership, I was delighted it went through with just a few trivial advisories which will be sorted soon. The other thing that needs attention is the timing chain which, as all these OHV Skoda engines do, is rattling like a bastard. My old Felicia rattled like this. The kits aren’t expensive and it’s not too bad a job, apparently. Well, it won’t be for me, I’ll be paying someone to do it!

Is it staying?

Until it gives up the ghost completely. It’s got life left in it yet, and I’m actually quite fond of the old thing because it’s a bloody good little car. Just don’t expect to go anywhere quickly. And yes, it does SAY THAT on the back of the car…